 |
| Via Public Domain Photos |
I was accepted into a contest to lose weight before Christmas of 2017--and then the committee let me go because they felt I had an eating disorder. (I had submitted an essay explaining my weight struggles.) They suggested a clinic.
I looked at the clinic's website. I took the tests on the site for anorexia/bulimia and binge eating disorder. I scored healthy on the first test. I scored mostly healthy on the next text. I knew that I didn't have anorexia or bulimia, but I had struggled with binge eating in the past.
Sitting in my counselor's office the next day, we determined that I had a binge eating disorder. I occasionally overeat, but it was no longer a binge eating disorder.
I struggled some when I was in China, and in the MTC, but my true binge eating began after I had after I had my second son.
My husband had finished his last semester of college, but we had his internship to finish. We went on food stamps at the time. We had access to buy more than enough food.
I would binge to the point I was literally sick to my stomach for about six months. But I also discovered I had gall stones a year later, so that may have made me sick too.
Once my husband had a stable job, I binged less. In all this time, I never purged.
I realized when I truly stopped binge eating was when I took my Weigh to Health class through Intermountain Healthcare four years ago. I learned about intuitive eating. I eat until I feel full. I listen to my body's cues.
When I first was rejected from the weight loss competition a year ago, I was very upset. I wrote an essay to express my need for being in the competition that ultimately disqualified me. I was over binge eating, but I still had body image issues.
I came across Lexie and Lindsay Kites' Beauty Redefined website. I took the statement "My body is an instrument. Not an ornament " to heart. My body is to be useful for everyday living. And I have lived in my body and enjoy living. I don't worry about how I look or about my weight over the past year.
I am so much healthier emotionally. My body is healthier physically because I am focused on small fitness goals like 5000 steps a day. I don't worry about food. That only stressed me where I binged. It backfired. I have found more peace just focusing on eating when I am hungry and stopping when I am full.
It has helped being on new medication, topiramate for 18 months now for my bipolar. My other medicines don't cause extra hunger like the original medications I had 15 years ago did.
I no longer obsess about getting cool sculpting, liposuction, breast augmentation, or other kind of body altering surgery like I used to. My body is just fine as it is. It is an instrument to accomplishing whatever tasks I need to do.
I am healed from the body image issues that I suffered from for so many years.
I would binge to the point I was literally sick to my stomach for about six months. But I also discovered I had gall stones a year later, so that may have made me sick too.
Once my husband had a stable job, I binged less. In all this time, I never purged.
I realized when I truly stopped binge eating was when I took my Weigh to Health class through Intermountain Healthcare four years ago. I learned about intuitive eating. I eat until I feel full. I listen to my body's cues.
When I first was rejected from the weight loss competition a year ago, I was very upset. I wrote an essay to express my need for being in the competition that ultimately disqualified me. I was over binge eating, but I still had body image issues.
I came across Lexie and Lindsay Kites' Beauty Redefined website. I took the statement "My body is an instrument. Not an ornament " to heart. My body is to be useful for everyday living. And I have lived in my body and enjoy living. I don't worry about how I look or about my weight over the past year.
I am so much healthier emotionally. My body is healthier physically because I am focused on small fitness goals like 5000 steps a day. I don't worry about food. That only stressed me where I binged. It backfired. I have found more peace just focusing on eating when I am hungry and stopping when I am full.
It has helped being on new medication, topiramate for 18 months now for my bipolar. My other medicines don't cause extra hunger like the original medications I had 15 years ago did.
I no longer obsess about getting cool sculpting, liposuction, breast augmentation, or other kind of body altering surgery like I used to. My body is just fine as it is. It is an instrument to accomplishing whatever tasks I need to do.
I am healed from the body image issues that I suffered from for so many years.
No comments:
Post a Comment