Follow-up on Medication

After taking phentermine for a month, I stopped because I ran out before I had a doctor visit. I had difficulty falling asleep on this stimulant.

At my doctor visit, I asked about other ideas. We thought of the generics of Contrave, which are buproprion (Wellbutrin) and naltrexone. Wellbutrin costs less, but not the naltrexone. It cost more than $100 for a month's worth. He prescribed Metformin to control blood sugar, and Wellbutrin as an experiment.

Ultimately, I tried Wellbutrin and Metformin. I stopped taking the Metformin because of the bowel symptoms. I stayed on Wellbutrin for 2 months with few results. I fluctuate within the same weight range since giving birth last year. I never returned to my PCP because the only medications left cost the weight of an arm and a leg.

I lost 2-4 lbs. when I went to sleep before 10:30 for a week. Going to bed on time, had a greater effect than anything else I have tried.

So what should be my goal? Go to sleep by midnight every night!

I bought a Fitbit the end of June. Now I have more information. I realize that I eat the same amount of calories as I burn most days. I usually hit 8000-10,000 steps a day and have active minutes from doing housework.

Since coming off the Wellbutrin, my appetite may have increased--due to stress. I have binged on several times when I felt bored or stressed. I gained 6 lbs back during my trip to see the eclipse and family.

My new fresh-out-of-residency psychiatrist said that Wellbutrin alone won't have much effect on weight loss. We discussed changing my mood stabilizer to topiramate and my antidepressant to buproprion, which are both ingredients in weight loss medications. My previous psychiatrist discouraged topiramate since brain fog is a symptom. My current psychiatrist said that symptom only occurred in some people. The "brain fog" at a lesser degree clears racing thoughts.

I am thinking of changing my psychiatric medications now. My mood stabilizer has worked for 11 years, and my current antidepressant has worked for 5 years. Neither of them cause weight gain. Changing medications takes several months. Those medications aren't guaranteed to work for my bipolar 2.

For now, I need to focus on going to bed earlier (barring my baby waking at all hours in the night), eating less and reducing stress.

Weight loss is such a puzzle.

Update:

I started the topiramate.

Trying Medication

Via Public Domain Photos

I talked with my dietitian three weeks ago about taking medication to lose weight. We discussed the different options--fat inhibitors or appetite suppressants. One medication I can't take because it conflicts with my current medications.

I thought my dietitian might be able to write the prescription, but she said she couldn't.

I asked about Lipozene and she couldn't find it in the normal drug database. She googled it. Lipozene is just fiber from the konjac root. It helps you feel fuller. It is fiber.

At the visit, I weighed the same as I did in February. The five pounds I gained came off. The big difference was when I stopped tracking my food and exercise. Tracking caused me stress.

I said my goal would be intuitive "living" by listening to my body's hunger and sleep cues. I still need to go to bed on time, eat veggies and fruits, and add some exercise. Just not stress about it.

I made an appointment to see my primary care physician. I used my preventive visit to make it "free". On my cell phone, I checked which prescriptions my insurance would cover--none of them. I took medications that put on the weight that insurance paid for. Why won't insurance pay for medications that take it off? 

Really, my insurance pays for several dietitian visits as preventive visits, and a specialist copay after that. Dietitians help more than medication since they impart wisdom.

My doctor said fat inhibitors like Orlistat can cause diarrhea and incontinent bowel movements. Joy. He said eating enough vegetables would inhibit fat too without diarrhea. Instead, I vowed to eat more veggies.

We decided on an appetite suppressant to try for one month. I have taken it for a couple weeks without weight loss (as far as I can tell). I feel hungry less often and eat less. The medication is a stimulant, which has interfered with sleep to some degree. I take a sleeping pill anyway.

I weighed myself more than once a week, which caused me stress. My new focus is on what I can control instead of what I can't control. I can't control the number on the scale, but I can control what I eat. I can exercise. I can.

To the Mocking Teenager

Via Public Domain Photos

I was talking with a friend while we were chilling in the hot water. We were talking about the effects of time on our bodies now that we are in our mid-30s.

As I climbed out of the hot water, a teenage girl loudly said:

"Is that what I will look like when I get old?"

I said:

"Give it ten years!"

This is the first rude teenager I have come across for some time. Most teenagers may be sassy, but rarely rude. Hopefully, she is nicer most of the time.

I have advice for this mocking teenager so she never looks like me:

1. Never engage in sexual intimacy
2. Never develop a mental illness
3. Never develop a physical illness
4. Never stay up late
5. Never stress out
6. Never have babies

I am serious about no intimacy, hormonal teenager. Hormonal birth control can cause weight gain. Depo-Provera causes weight gain in a fourth of its users. I estimate that birth control caused 30 lbs to collect on me. Any intimacy runs the risk of pregnancy with or without birth control. Thus, lifelong abstinence is the best option.

Really, it's a lottery whether this young woman gets some type of mental illness or suffers some type of trauma in her lifetime. Some medications are notorious for gaining weight. Six medications from this list out of the dozen I've taken over the years packed on 55 lbs (I'm taking out 10 lbs for birth control). I have worked with my psychiatrists over the years to have neutral medications, but sometimes those stop working. I have to weigh the benefits versus the costs.

Any physical illness can cause weight gain (or loss). Almost my entire life, I was so congested that I had a hard time breathing and had frequent colds and sinus infections. Three years ago, I had sinus surgery and my turbinates reduced. I have more active days now.

Reduced sleep probably contributed to my weight gain the most over the years. I eat more calories when I stay up too late. Then I am tired the next day and choose less healthy foods. No late night parties, young lady!

Stress might be the biggest contributor to my weight gain. So, young woman avoid any stress in life! Really, learn to cope with stress in healthy ways.

Again, I suggest lifelong abstinence so a woman never becomes pregnant. First, pregnancy messes with female hormones. Then the newborn takes away your sleep for the next two years. The dad suffers from sleep loss too. Children bring stress...and joy.

Overall, young lady, never live. Never enjoy life. Then you will never look like me.

Free Preventive Visits

Via Public Domain Photos

My insurance pays for several dietitian visits as part of the preventive visits. I am taking advantage of these free visits (not really free since we pay thousands in insurance).

I have worked with this dietitian before. Since then, I've gotten pregnant, had a baby, bled for four months and took a bunch of hormones. Those wrecked havoc on my body. So this is my fresh start.

I set new goals:

1. Go to sleep by a certain hour for 5/7 days for four weeks.

A week into this and I have gone to bed one night at this time. Other nights I made it within an hour of that time. Another night, I stayed up feeding my infant. That counts as going to bed earlier because that was what I started to do before he cried.

2. Keep a food journal 4 days a week.

Last week I recorded half a day on paper. This was not simple enough for my lifestyle. Last night I loaded an app on my phone to track my food. Since I am on my phone when I feed my infant, I have time to track then.

3. Eat 2 vegetables a day.

She suggested trying to add a vegetable to lunch and dinner. Add a snack or side salad. She mentioned that I don't want to have the same vegetable all the time in case I tire of it. I've worked on some more vegetables. I already get my fruit in most days.

I have been exercising around two times a week. I saved money by buying a used stationary bike. This has helped me exercise more. I chose not to make this a goal since I have incorporated it into my week already. Though it is an underlying goal.

Next time, I may work on dealing with stress. It has been crazy with four boys and my other responsibilities over the last month.

The dietitian said to keep my goals realistic enough that I will do them. I need to be comfortable with them. Broken goals mean no progress. So one step at a time.

Post D & C Surgery

"Woman" by George Hodan

I have been frustrated with my body because I just want to be in peak condition. I had a D & C done on Monday to stop my bleeding. I had a slightly thicker endometrial lining than usual.

My aunt asked if they figured out why I was bleeding.

Um, I have no idea--stress, hormonal imbalances, endometritis (infection of the lining), anything under the sun?

The gynecologist wanted to put me on a different hormone instead of the D & C in order to save my IUD. No! One day of hormone and I felt so depressed and anxious I cried at the drop of the hat.

I don't think so.

I started a bath on Tuesday. My husband rushed in the bathroom and told me I shouldn't take a bath for two weeks. You've got to be kidding me! My husband was sure on top of it. I swear the doctor said I only had to wait 24 hours. I let the water run for a few minutes and then showered instead.

So now I am bleeding less. It will last for probably another week or two. I want to exercise and be more active. I thought my body should have bounced back quickly, but I had severe cramps for three days after vacuuming and doing laundry. I haven't felt crampy today. My exercise plans are on hold. I did this so my body will return to normal!

I have been going to bed by 10:30 pm most nights. That's good. Somehow it is never enough sleep. My infant wakes up once in the night, and I am toast the next morning. Maybe 9:30 pm ought to be my target.

For the past week, I have tried to eat a salad here and there. Good job, Eileen! I have struggled more with overeating when my neighbors have kindly brought over such good food after my surgery.

So this post is full of complaining, but why not? I can complain to the world at large. My husband is probably glad not to hear it.

I hope to exercise more and retire to bed earlier. And I hope a $100,000 arrives in the mail today.

A Depressing 100 Extra Pounds and Bleeding

238 lbs

Profile

I have been bleeding since giving birth to my fourth son. It has driven me nuts. I have tried multiple things and it doesn't seem to fully work. I am more frustrated because the IUD and birth control pill have made me gain around 5+ lbs over the last month. Yet, they have lessened the bleeding to an extent. The "pill" has sent my emotions on a roller coaster that was well-controlled.

I have had an ultrasound and antibiotics. My doctor ruled out any left over placenta, glucose levels, thyroid problems, and other common issues. I have a slightly thickened endometrial lining.

I mentioned my problems on Facebook and friends and family suggested things. Mostly love and support. Many female friends empathized that they had similar bleeding that had no apparent reason for happening.

Sometimes, I wish I were male.

Well, not really.

I tried raspberry leaf tea and shepherd's purse. I stopped trying those a few days ago. Now I should be "on" bleeding with the pill. So maybe next week I should find out if the bleeding stops. I am embracing it this week. Haha.

I can't believe how much birth control can make me gain weight. So many things have been working against me for the last 13 years.

When I was 19, I had a breakdown at college. I was misdiagnosed with depression only and given an antidepressant. I gained 40 lbs over two years of taking it. I was active for most of that time. It was a stressful time I suppose at school, teaching English in China, and a brief mission. In China and the MTC, I didn't have the option to eat anytime, so I scarfed down more food at meals. I felt no control.

At 21, I switched medication and started more medications. I had a new diagnosis of bipolar 2. I started the patch a few months later when I married, which made me gain 5 lbs. I don't believe the bipolar medications had made me gain weight.

I lost 16 lbs puking through my first pregnancy. I tried going off my mood stabilizer and started a new antidepressant while breastfeeding. Eight weeks later, I went back on the mood stabilizer plus the antidepressant.

That antidepressant was notorious for gaining weight. Over the course of taking that medication, I gained 45 lbs. I had one more child, 2 IUDs in and out, 9 moves, a broken foot, and joblessness. That stress might have contributed.

So much has happened to my body. I had two more children with my body gaining, losing, and finally gaining. Changed medications several times. I had periods of losing 5-10 lbs., but it returned when stress hit.

Currently, I am 238 lbs. I figure I am gaining weight because of stress, lack of sleep, overeating, and too little activity. I don't know what perfect storm caused me to gain 100 lbs in the last 13 years. Medication and birth control don't help.

The extra weight holds me back from my dreams. I feel the weight hang off my belly and I just want to cry sometimes. It is just the last 15 lbs that has really depressed me.

Anyway, there's my pity party.

So here's a new year. Go to bed by 10 pm. Tell my infant to sleep through the night every night. Tell my toddler to sleep through the entire night too. Eat vegetables and fruit. Reduce stress. Blah...

I bought a stationary bike, which I ride for about 15 minutes a day. It helps in the winter.

The Trouble with Sleep

"Cats Cuddling" by Melissa Anthony

I am having a harder time falling asleep lately and need more sleeping aids (bipolar meds). It is such a pain, but it's partially my fault. I haven't been going to bed consistently at a good time. My sleep affects how healthy I am, and I have a great habit of going to bed later than 10 pm.

I am missing out on some exercise opportunities and making healthier choices with food and habits throughout the day.

I went to bed at 10 pm last night. But I slept in until 8:35 and missed an appointment with someone. The sleeping aids have to be the right dose to be just enough to put me asleep, but not too much to keep me asleep longer than necessary. My doctor and I have discussed splitting a pill or having the whole dose.

I've been taking the whole dose instead of a half-dose like I normally do. So I have two solutions in mind: improve my sleep hygiene, and take the sleeping aid earlier in the evening.

Sleep hygiene may make the biggest difference. I have a bedtime routine, but I don't have a set time I start my routine. I need to start by 9:30 pm at least. Will you keep me on track? :)

If I take my sleeping aid at 9 pm, I may wake an hour earlier than normal.

I will have to experiment.

I have goals I want to achieve: start graduate studies, writing books and blogs, achieve a healthy weight, and function well as a mother.

Program Almost Done--Now It's Done

Wrote this part last week:

My son is watching me while I write on the computer. It drives me nuts. He is just laughing...even harder. He fell over a bag of chips. He creeps closer as I type 'me.' His laugh is maniacal. I'm telling him my bubble is the length of my arm. I've never liked anyone looking over my shoulder while I write or I am on the computer.

Anyway, to the point. This month I finish the weight loss class I've been doing. I have learned a lot about eating, sleeping, making change and so forth. Permanent weight loss takes time and isn't a fad diet.

This week:

I had my last appointment a week ago and I was down to 226.5 lbs from 232 lbs six months ago--5 1/2 lbs lighter! I lost 1.25 inches around my waist.  That's a significant amount!

My Body Image

For two or three years, I've wanted to have liposuction because it feels like the only way I can succeed. However, I know it isn't the only way. I see the bodyshaping commercials now and I feel more comfortable with my body (most of the time!).

It will take time for me to lose the weight in a more permanent fashion. Surgery costs money and has complications--no matter what any surgeon may say. Losing weight doesn't have to cost a dime!

I have a better body image than I used to. I am beautiful in whatever stage I am in. I used to see other women and feel extremely jealous of their thinner bodies. I still feel a pang of jealousy, but I no longer feel depressed (for too long) about it. I have a body that functions and I am healthy--besides my weight.

I had a two-day bout of jealousy last week of slender silhouettes. Ah, I'm jealous! But life goes on.

Sleeping Habits

My sleeping habits are getting better. I have done yoga one other night this week. Mostly, I avoid stressing subjects an hour before bed and I am retiring around 9:30 to 10:30 most nights. I am making considerable progress.

I stayed up until 2 am reading Julie Klassen's latest book, A Painter's Daughter, last Thursday. I need to find a better solution to when I bring home a library book in the evening.

Since first writing this post last week, I have stayed up until 11 pm or later. I retired by 10:30 last night. My goal will by 10 pm.

Struggling with Goals

Goals are elusive beasts. If I write down my goals or get too specific, it stresses me out at times. Lists stress me out. Somehow I need to find a balance that fits my personality.

Rewards are another tricky subject. What can I use as a reward? Anything I choose, I will buy myself anyway or do that activity anyway. I feel like their are natural rewards to health goals: I get HEALTHIER and HAPPIER. Other rewards are beyond my reach or my attention span. I'm making progress.

I talked with my dietitian and she said that natural rewards make sense. She liked my approach. These rewards are free and happen when you fulfill your goals. They are natural consequences.

Exercise

Exercise makes the biggest difference in what I do. I've lost inches in the past when I exercise 60+ minutes 4-5 times a week. I'm trying a new exercise program that involves my children too.

Formal exercise has always been tricky because of toddlers. My toddler was sick all last week, so I went a week without going. I exercised some at home, but I was sick for two days too. 

My youngest had his larger-than-life adenoids removed last September, so he has fewer colds. He can breathe normally too! That has made exercise a little easier. He wants to be held while I exercise.

I found a walking partner again! It's been a couple years since I had a walking partner. My other partners get too busy or move away or I moved away.

Intuitive Eating Attempts

I rarely track my food because it stresses me. I'm focusing instead on eating when I'm hungry and adding vegetables and fruit to my diet. The hunger scale helps me gauge my hunger. Last night I ate beyond the full stage to uncomfortable. (It was a difficult day yesterday.)

I am making progress because I don't eat to the point I'm literally sick. Five years ago to the week, I went into the emergency room with such pain. I had gall stones, which made me throw up when overeating fatty foods.

After that, I ate a little less because I remembered the awful pain. But I still ate until I felt beyond uncomfortable. Over the last two years, I've tried to be more careful.

Just Keep Swimming--Dory

My life is making it one day at a time. I don't like to plan, but I have to do some. Weight loss is a long term goal and then weight maintenance. I hope that I can be slender within the next year. I just need to stay active and pay attention to intuitive eating.

Here's to one more day!

Thoughts on New Years Resolutions

"Happy New Year" by Circe Denyer

Resolution from the Latin resolutionem is "process of reducing things into simpler forms." I'm thinking of What About Bob? where Bill Murray's character takes literal baby steps to achieve his goals. Losing weight is achieving small goals on a daily basis as a process.

So my journey is a process, but I want it done now!

What should I do to make this year a success? My success last year was maintaining my weight for six months. I should think of that as success anyway :).

1. My goal is still to go to bed by 10 pm. I have succeeded at going to bed earlier than in the past. 
2. Eat when I'm hungry. I use the hunger scale to determine if it's time to eat (most of the day).
3. Exercise, but for how much?

I tried yoga before bed to help me fall asleep. It helped doing a PM session meant to calm me down. However, that takes up time before bed!

I'm not sure if I've gained or lost any weight over the holidays. I've had some active days, but some days where my cold drained my energy and emotions. I had so much hope for a productive and fun holiday, but it has been pretty lazy.

I weighed myself before and after bathing. It was a difference of two or three pounds. Is that how much dirt I was carrying on my body? Gross to think about. I figured I'd weigh more because my long hair was wet.

How much does wet hair weigh? I found this post where the woman says her wet hair was .2 pounds heavier than dry hair. This article states that being wet only adds a few ounces to weight.

Die Lawn Die!

"Lawn Mower" by Petr Kratochvil

I took more vitamin C on the first day of my cold. On Friday, I was completely dead. I was barely awake and could only watch TV and nap the entire day. I asked my husband to stay home from work.

My husband spent the last half of the day home and ensured everyone stayed alive. I watched HGTV shows on Netflix. Gave me too many ideas to change my house. Unfortunately, I got involved watching an undercover cop series in the evening. I watched it until almost midnight last night. Why torture myself willingly? And I ate more raisin bread than I needed so late into the night. Bad idea.

Today I have more energy. I've reached the third day of my cold where I go crazy and clean. I folded several loads of laundry and mowed our large backyard (on almost a quarter acre). Now my arms feel like jelly and I felt slightly dizzy right after. But it was all worth it! Plus, I burned calories and toned my arms.

This is the last time I'm mowing the lawn this year. Period.

In previous years, the grass just died really long. Made the first springtime mow more difficult.

I look at the rest of my yard. Let's see...it needs weed whacking, edging along the sidewalk, bush trimming, and weeding. But at the end of the year, I don't want to touch the yard. I was done caring for the lawn in August.

This year, I planted gladiolus for the first time. The tall plants blocked the sprinklers and almost killed off my rose bush. Bad gladiolus--you don't make me glad. I want to move them to another section of the yard that doesn't get well-watered.

My calla lilies bloomed really well, but they're in a hidden spot. I want to move them where I had the gladiolus before. I had white calla lilies in my wedding bouquet.

I want to get this all done before winter, but it probably won't happen.

Now, why do I mow the lawn instead of my husband? I'm too impatient for him to mow it on the occasional Saturday he has time. Leaves more free time for us on the weekend too. My mom mowed our lawn and took out the trash while I grew up, so I copy that. She only did that because my dad has MS. I mow the lawn because I feel strong and physically fit afterward.

2.5 Lbs. Gone and an Oncoming Cold

"Cold Winter Time" by Petr Kratochvil

I lost 2.5 lbs as of last Thursday. I haven't weighed myself today, but I may later tonight. My emotions stay more positive when I only weigh myself once a week--or every other week. What helped me lose those pounds? Honestly, I don't know. I ate okay, went to bed on time most nights, and toned two times a week. Only simple things. I stressed little over my weight.

In the stress management class, the dietitian mentioned a client that kept gaining weight because she stressed over her weight. When she stopped stressing over her weight, she lost the weight. It's like when infertile couples stop worrying about having a baby and they finally get pregnant. Simply control what I can do--exercise, eat right, and sleep--and not worry about what I can't control.

This morning I felt a cold coming on--the ache between my mouth and nose. My body feels slightly weaker and I feel tired. I probably have a cold because I stayed up until 1:30 am a few nights ago. It weakened my immune response. Now I'm taking steps to be rid of this cold faster.

Here are my tips to overcome a cold:

(You know you want to read them, even if they will do nothing.)

• Take vitamin C on the hour, every hour the moment I feel the ache in my nasal cavity.
• Drink lots of fluids.
• Nap, sleep.
• Be lazy.
• Disinfect like crazy (if I have the energy).
• Ignore the messy house.
• Send my husband out for pizza.

I believe the vitamin C, liquids, and rest help. For my sanity, I need to let some things slide. Usually, on the third or fourth day, I disinfect my entire house and clean. Probably too little too late :).

How do I prevent colds--if I bother?

• Go to bed on time!
• Relax from stress.
• Avoid large amounts of sugar.
• Remind my kids to wash their hands; happens on occasion.
• Wash my own hands.
• Disinfect the house.
• Had surgery on my sinuses.

Inevitably, the cold comes. Getting sick is life and there's no way to avoid it. 

You could get the flu shot to prevent the flu. I hate flu shots and my husband bamboozled me into getting one this year. I felt achy for two days after. Instead, why not chance the flu? 

Unfortunately, there are no cold shots. I would get one of those! 

Two-ish Pounds Gone!

I started my program seven weeks ago at 232 lbs; the next week at 234 (heavy clothes and pizza binge?); then slightly above 232 two weeks ago. Last night I weighed in at 230.5! I had concentrated the past two weeks on reducing stress and thinking of 3 good things before night time. I wrote about the stress management class on my mental health blog here.

Since one of my stresses is my weight, I only weighed myself once between meetings. I wasn't perfect with eating, but better than usual. I only did two regular exercise sessions during the two weeks and housework (mowing, mopping, vacuuming). So this approach to reduce stress worked versus being strict about exercise and diet. Stress and lack of sleep are a large contributing factor to my current weight gain of 15 lbs this spring and summer.

As a result of my weight gain, I had to buy bigger clothes two weeks ago. Sometimes I enjoy shopping for new clothes, but not this last time. I flashed my plumber's crack because my shirts and pants were too small. I hope too many people haven't shunned me for this reason. My fat has stretched the sides of my bras to their breaking point. TMI. Okay, the bras are six years old.

I wandered through the clearance racks at Walmart for 2X shirts and pants. I made a big pile and whittled it down before trying some on. Then I whittled it further after trying them on. Then I tried several sizes of bras. Too tight or too big. Finally, I walked away with several shirts, one pair of capris, one pair of pants, one swim bottom, and two bras.When I lined up at the check out line, I saw more t-shirts. I grabbed two 3X shirts and put back one shirt. Each item cost $9 or less. Yea, I was being frugal, but I still spent over $50. Gaining weight is not cheap.

Now I'm happy I have clothes that fit--except the 3X shirts are too wide for my shoulders. They cover my backside!

Working on Goals

"Carrots for Sale" by Paul Brennan

I've been weighed twice now with the new community program. My weight is more than I want or thought it would be. I weigh in at 232-234 lbs; BMI is 39.4; and my body is 48.8% fat. How depressing, but it is only the beginning. It is about measuring progress, right?

Goal Progress

I successfully went to bed by 10ish two nights in a row. That's great for me! So that means I can get a professional massage on 9/8 if I keep this goal for 29 more days. I still feel somewhat tired, but I have sleep to catch up on. My oldest was in pain last night and he woke me around 1 am. I was so out of it. He was better in the morning, thank heaven.

I've been tracking my food intake since Friday. After my appointment with a dietitian last week, I chose the diabetic exchange system. I just count servings instead of writing down each food I eat or the calories. It's simpler for me, but I still have to measure my food.

My last goal was to exercise twice a week. I've sort of kept that goal. I walked around the grocery store and rode my bike to and from a meeting over the weekend. I need something more formal, in my opinion. It's just difficult because I'm still feeling rather tired. Need to catch up on my sleep. I'm also debating whether to work with a trainer or not. I could save around $1000 a year if I don't do group training. I could even drop my gym membership and save around $350 a year, but the cold months are coming.

Rethinking The Formula

I mentioned The Formula plan to the dietitian at the appointment. She looked over the book and commented that it asks for a little too much protein and fat. Instead of 40-30-30, she suggested 50-25-25. So just 5% less calories from both protein and fat. It's still pretty close to the 40-30-30 formula. The dietitian recommended modifying the recipes.

We talked about the glycemic index for carrots. She said it's the glycemic load that matters. So high glycemic foods like carrots and bananas are back on my radar because they have a low glycemic load. I may try the lower glycemic formula recipes in The Formula because it may help. For now, I'm keeping life simple.

So for my diabetic exchange system, I can have 8 starches, 6 proteins, 4 non-starchy vegetables, 4 fruits, 3 fat, and 2 dairy. This is according to my weight, height, gender and age, so it's different for everyone. Here's an online calculator, but a dietitian is a better expert to determine number of servings. The dietitian handed me a booklet to show servings in the diabetic exchange system. (Here's an online list.) Looking through it, the vegetable and fruit servings are larger than I thought and the protein, fat, and starch servings are smaller than I thought. Of course that would be the case.

So now to keep moving forward. The day-in day-out seems really difficult. I just want a magic surgery for weight loss (that isn't expensive or risky in any way).

So how are you coming along on your goals?

Been Awhile

I've gone off the bandwagon probably the last week. Last Wednesday I had an ingrown toenail removed, so I stopped doing my walking. I gave up on the clean eating challenge, though the coach kept encouraging me. I stayed up late for several nights in a row and ate some junk food. I kept my life in survival mode.

So far this week, I've gone to bed about 11 pm each night. It's an improvement, but I'm still not at full working capacity. My mind keeps going for awhile after I crawl into bed.

After last week, I realized I set too many goals for myself. I felt discouraged because I couldn't do it all. I need to concentrate on one goal. That one goal should be going to bed on time for myself. My doctor thinks that is the main reason why I've gained weight. Right now I'm trying to keep life simple.

I signed up for a weight loss program through my doctor's office. I got 40% off by paying it all at once before I start the program. It's a cost-saving measure.

So now to encourage myself to go to bed on time: my only goal!

The Boys' Secret

Did well eating clean for a day and a half. We had run out of cottage cheese, celery, and some fruit, so I felt my options were limited. I stayed up late Monday night, so Tuesday I had less energy. Had pizza for dinner. It was healthier than major fast food pizza chains. It has less grease from a local pizza restaurant. I walked for 30 minutes in the morning and biked for 20 minutes in the evening.

Last night, I went to bed by 10:30!! But my oldest has followed my bad example. He has this secret with his brother:

My oldest revealed that he and his brother had a secret on Monday night. I guessed the secret: they sneak down to watch TV after Mom and Dad go to sleep. My oldest wanted to know how I guessed. The clues: he's on the couch instead of in bed when I come down for breakfast; he is asleep on the couch all morning and some of the afternoon; and the TV is still on.

Last night, my husband and I were in bed and had said our prayers. A minute later, I heard a door open and close. I jumped out of bed and called in the dark: "Get to bed!" I saw a second silhouette of my middle son. We told the boys they need their sleep.

Back in bed, I heard the door open and close again. I went out and caught my oldest without his brother. This morning...no kids sleeping on the couch. Verdict: they stayed in bed.

I need to be a good example for my kids and go to bed on time.

Trying a Clean Eating Challenge

"Strawberry Splash" by Petr Kratochvil

A friend from high school days is hosting a clean eating challenge this week and I joined. I committed for five days to eating natural foods, exercising 30 minutes a day, and some other things.

So today I ate oatmeal, raspberries, almonds, and cottage cheese for breakfast. I chose regular oats instead of the apple-cinnamon packs my kids eat. Fewer additives, right?

For lunch, I ate a peach, cheddar cheese, cottage cheese, strawberries and a salad. I thought about how to keep my salad "clean," so I left out the light ranch dressing and croutons. Instead, I put Parmesan cheese to try and give the spinach, mushrooms, and almond salad taste. It was okay. Thinking I may have to look at some "clean" recipes for salad dressing, but I only like ranch dressing. I hate all the other types of salad dressings.

I ate celery and peanut butter for a snack, but I left out the protein powder. I sometimes add protein powder.

I made a chicken, mushroom, and brown rice entree for dinner. As I added lemon pepper, I wondered if it was "clean." I know what the ingredients are. I made some peach, blueberry crisp too. For the vegetable, I grabbed the frozen mixed veggies. I looked at the shrunk, mutilated veggies and threw the freezer burn mess away. Luckily, we had a second bag of mixed veggies.

I'm wondering where all this energy came from to make dinner: I went to bed by 10:30 two nights in a row! I also walked for 30 minutes today, fell on a few yoga poses, and skipped around. All this with pushing, holding, or avoiding a toddler. All in a day's work.

Why Stay Up Late?

"Sleeping Child" by George Hodan

This weekend was a tiring weekend, but that was my own fault. I stayed up until 1 am Friday night, 12:30 am Saturday night, and 11 pm last night. Each night I went to bed a little bit earlier. So that means tonight I'll go to bed by 10 pm, if I follow the pattern.

Going to bed on time is one of my greatest weaknesses concerning my health. I like reading my book, trolling blogs, or watching Netflix late into the night. It is my escape from a busy day with kids. Other moms fall into this trap too. Lack of sleep causes weight gain. For this reason, I need to go to bed on time!

Lack of sleep causes irritability (I'm never upset with my boys or husband the next day!). It reduces productivity. It has a huge domino effect into the next day too. This is all trying to tell myself to go to bed on time tonight! If my husband says to go to bed, I often snap at him.

The benefits of enough sleep are wonderful: happiness, energy, more time in the morning, higher metabolism, and more. So why do I stay up late at night? Ask me at 10 pm tonight. That's when I justify it.

So hold me to a commitment: in bed by 10 pm. I'll hold you to 10 pm (or enough sleep too). Let's do this together!

Early Morning Body Fat Test

"Anatomy Hight-tech" by Виталий Смолыгин

Before 7 am, I went in for body fat testing. I couldn't sleep all night because I was nervous about making it on time, not the testing. It's hard getting of the house before 9:30 am. I got about half the sleep I usually do even though I was in bed by 10 pm. Before I left, my husband decided he should exercise. Suppose it was good I was awake earlier.

So 39.1% of my body is fat. That's very encouraging. Yea right. The fitness instructor pointed out that I have 14% of fat to lose and then I would be in the healthy range. The healthy range for women is 18-26% body fat for women. Some fat is a good thing!

After my second child, I met a tall 120-lb. woman who tried hard to gain weight. No matter how much she ate, she couldn't gain. I proposed I give her some of my fat. If only it worked that way. I would love to give 14% of my fat to someone who wants it!

I wish I had done a body fat test when I first started with a trainer last October. I had lost inches, but stayed the same weight. My body fat must have been lower. However, I became discouraged around March and April and gained weight again. My psychiatrist said it was from lack of sleep. She said, "Go to bed on time!" Maybe seeing a lower percentage of body fat would've encouraged me. I had to stop going to group training sessions for the summer.

Today I did some toning while watching Love It or List It. Who else likes home improvement shows? My toddler held up his arms for me to hold him. He becomes my weights when I do squats and calf raises.

So far, I've eaten better today. I had cereal with strawberries and sausage (my protein). I felt full for four hours and then I ate the remaining two slices of pizza from last night. (Last night I binged on fruit leather and had three slices of pizza. Good on pizza, but not so much fruit leather.) Had some natural peanut butter mixed with protein powder on celery. I like doing this to get in my vegetables.
Dinner tonight is a toss-up. I have leftover chicken taco soup or I could make something else. Order pizza, anyone? I am not a big fan of cooking for five every day. Occasionally I love to cook. If I let my husband cook dinner, it will be spaghetti. No more spaghetti!

Does Lemon Water Make You Feel Full?

"Close-up of Cut Lemon" by Marina Shemish

About a month ago, my visit teacher suggested I try lemon water to create a feeling of fullness at night. I've tried lemon water now for a few days. I think it has helped. Last night, I didn't feel hungry right before bedtime. There was a two hour gap between eating and sleep. That's a novelty for me these days. So does it really work or is this only anecdotal evidence?

It has multiple health benefits that aid in weight loss, but also in overall health. It helps in digestion by creating more bile. Lemons have vitamin C for the immune system and other benefits. There are more benefits. There was a study done in 2008 by the Sugiyama Jogakuen University in Japan. The polyphenols aid in weight loss. I don't understand it completely, but here's a link to the study.

Adding sugar to the water negates the weight loss benefits because it's not wise to drink your calories. Lemon water is aa good replacement for juice, soda, and coffee (I don't drink coffee).

Tomorrow I go in for a body fat test. How much of me is muscle? (Focus on the positive, instead of fat percentage. :)

Last night I went to bed by 11 pm. An hour later than I should. Still feel tired this morning.

Too Many Late Nights

I've broken a cardinal rule too many nights in a row. I went to be at 12 am, 12:30 am, and 11 am for several nights. That has messed up my schedule and writing. My eating has been off, but I have eaten less. I'm still at 220ish pounds. I want it gone. I was also emotionally upset last week because of seeing friends struggle and others showing passive-aggressive rudeness.

Today I'm still recovering from staying up too late, but I got in exercise--vacuuming the TV room. There's so much housework to do. Yesterday, I cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the front room. Really, any cleaning the floor includes putting dozens of toys away, dishes, and trash. I still want to vacuum the couch, office, upstairs bedrooms and mow the lawn. I have to pace myself. Three boys can make such a mess!

So, what has helped you get over emotional stress and eat right?