My mental and physical health need to come first. Causes can come in long after. I'm afraid I posted on my Facebook page for a discussion and I already feel stressed from the first response. I don't want to think anymore! But I do. I want to be heard amid the billions of voices out there. I want others to validate what I say. And I want sanity.
It's been a crazy week so far where I'm just eating to survive and maybe too stressed to sleep well. My husband's car broke down on Sunday when we were visiting family. While his car has been in the shop, he's been using the family van to commute to work (mine!). Today we drove 20 miles to pick up the car from a mechanic my husband trusts during his lunch hour. I didn't get my usual 30 minute lunch nap because of that. The toddler didn't get his nap either. (Maybe that's why I'm so grumpy.) Then my husband had to go into work tonight, which has rarely happened in the past four years. He's my support with the boys.
I get frustrated when I can't write as often as I'd like to. My toddler bangs against the keyboard and plays with our multiple monitors (yes, we have more than one monitor hooked up to each computer; my husband is a computer gamer and software developer). I want my toddler to just sit calmly in my lap while I type. That's the antithesis of what toddlers are.
Tomorrow I begin an educational and nutritional counseling program for the next six months. I hope this helps me. I felt good about signing up for it. Everything just takes so much effort. Let me sleep for a century, please.